作者：Steve Pavlina
译者：逝水流年
译文来源：壹心理（onexinli）
原文来源：stevepavlina.com
If you accept a job, a relationship, or a lifestyle that you merely tolerate — but don’t appreciate — you’re putting other concerns ahead of your own happiness.
如果你接受了一份工作，一段感情或者是一种生活方式，但感觉自己仅仅在忍受它们，而不是内心欢喜，那么你把其他关注点放在自己的幸福之前了。
Social conditioning may have convinced you that sacrificing your happiness to maintain a certain bank balance, to send timely payments to corporations to which you’re indebted, or to pay for someone else’s needs and expenses is the proper way to live. Perhaps your parents played a role in this conditioning as well, teaching you the importance of being responsible and holding down stable employment.
社会环境可能已经说服了你，牺牲你的幸福去维持一定的银行存款余额，按时地付款给那些你欠债的公司，或者为他人的需要和开销买单是一种合适的生活方式。也许你的父母在这个环境中也扮演了一个重要的角色，教导你要负责任以及保持就业稳定的重要性。
If you do these things well, then according to this conditioning, you are successful. You’re doing what’s expected of you, and no one could fault you for that.
如果你做到了这些事情，那么照这种标准来看你是成功的。你在做到了别人所期望的事情，没有人能够指责你。
But sooner or later you’ll come to realize that successfully paying the bills and satisfying other people’s needs, while depriving yourself of a happy life you’re truly passionate about, is no success at all. In fact, it is complete and utter failure.
但迟早有一天，你会意识到顺利地支付账单以及满足他人需要，同时也剥夺了你自己的幸福生活、你真正热爱的生活，这其实没有什么成功可言的。事实上，这是完全的、彻底的失败。
If you’ve found yourself in this situation, then you’ve terribly misunderstood the game of life.
如果你已经发现自己处在这种情况，那么你已经极度地误解人生这场游戏了。
While you may have been convinced that these duties are important, the truth is that they’re of no particular importance to people with high self-esteem and a positive sense of self-worth. Such people do not care how much money you make, what kind of provider you are, or how long you’ve been married to the same person. They’re much more curious about something else: how you feel about yourself and the path you’re walking.
虽然你可能一直坚信这些责任是重要的，但事实是，它们对于那些拥有高自尊和积极的自我价值感的人而言并不是非常重要。这些人并不在乎你挣了多少钱，你是怎样的顾家，或者你的婚姻维持了多久。他们更好奇的是一些别的事情：你如何看待你自己和你所走的路。
I have many friends who earn very little money, can’t or won’t hold down stable jobs, and have constantly churning relationship lives. And yet, if they are happy with themselves, I typically find them fascinating and valuable people to have in my life.
我有很多朋友挣着很少的钱，不能或不会保有稳定的工作，并且感情生活也时常一团糟。然而，如果他们自己很快乐，我通常会发现他们是我生命中有趣又有价值的人。
I also have friends who’ve been blessed by tremendous financial success, with brilliant, decades-spanning careers and deeply loving, committed relationships. If they too are happy with themselves, I find them just as fascinating and rewarding to connect with.
我也有一些拥有财富，才华横溢，事业有成和婚姻美满的朋友。如果他们也对自己很满意，我发现他们一样的迷人并值得交往。
When, however, I connect with people who are responsibly doing their duty, but who haven’t yet cultivated a life of happiness, I can’t help but notice the sallow desperation in their eyes, the numbness with which they speak, and the damned-if-I-do-damned-if-I-don’t game of self-deception they play each day. They feel trapped and lost to the point where they label feelings like depression and frustration with words like “fine” and “okay.”
然而，当我和那些负责任地尽着自己职责，但还未建立起幸福生活的人接触时，我不禁注意到他们眼中的绝望，他们话语的麻木，以及他们每天所玩的自我欺骗的游戏——该死的，如果我做了就好了；该死的，如果我没做就好了。他们深陷其中并败给了这一点——他们把类似沮丧和失望的感觉贴上了类似"可以"和"还好"的标签以自欺欺人。
If you find yourself in such a situation, there is a way out, and it begins with finally acknowledging the truth to yourself and diving into the dark places where you think it may lead. Accept your situation as it is, and most importantly, accept how you feel about it. The reality is that the darkness you fear is really nothing to fear at all. Yes, you may face some challenges, but that is how you’ll grow.
如果你发现你自己身处这种状况，有一条出路可以带你走出来。它始于承认自身的现实并直面它可能会引致的未知黑暗地方。接受你的情况，最重要的是接受你真实的感受。事实上你所害怕的黑暗实际上并没有什么可怕的。是的，你可能会面临一些挑战，但正是这样你才会成长！
Do you love and appreciate your work? Do you love and appreciate your relationships? Do you love and appreciate your lifestyle? What is the truth?
你喜欢并感激的你的工作吗？你喜欢并感激你的感情吗？你喜欢并感激你的生活方式吗？真相是什么呢？
You cannot get unstuck so long as you remain in perpetual denial. No external rescue will appear. But there is indeed a path to freedom, and it lies on the other side of denial and self-deception — on the side of truth and acceptance.
只要你保持永久的否认（自欺欺人），那么你将无法摆脱困境。没有谁能够救你。但这确实有一条路可以通往自由，它躺在否认和自我欺骗的另一边，那就是要真实面对并接纳现实。
What does happiness look like? Happiness is waking up feeling optimistic and expectant about the day you get to live. Happiness makes it hard to stay in bed once you awaken. A rich day full of new experiences and creative expression awaits you. It is an exciting thing to behold. Happiness is the stillness that exists within energy and movement.
幸福是什么样子的？幸福是早上醒来的时候对你过的日子感到乐观并充满期待。幸福使得你一旦醒来就很难再躺在床上。因为充满新鲜经验和创造性工作的丰富的一天等着你。这是一件令人兴奋的事情。幸福就是在充满活力的行动中还能保有内心的宁静。
When you are happy, you can still pay your bills on time, but you’ll make better choices about what bills are worth incurring. Some of your current bills and expenses might never have been created, had you been living a happy and inspired life to begin with.
当你快乐的时候，你依然可以按时支付你的账单，但是关于什么账单是值得的你会更为明智。一旦你开始过上快乐并充满激情的生活，你当前的一些账单和花费可能永远也不会需要了。
When you are happy, you can still support others if you wish, but this will be done because you truly want to do it, not because you feel obligated to do so.
当你快乐的时候，如果你愿意，你依然可以帮助他人，但这么做是因为你真的想去做，而不是因为你觉得有义务这样去做。
When you are happy, you can still enjoy a stable career, but you’ll produce significantly more value in less time because happiness inspires creativity and action, and creative action is a wellspring of opportunity — a wellspring which can, if so desired, produce abundant income for you.
当你快乐的时候，你依然可以享受稳定的事业，但你会在更短的时间产生更多的价值，因为幸福会激发人的创造力和行动，而创造性的行动则是机会的源泉——如果需要的话，这一源泉会为你带来丰富的收益。
Rest assured, your world will not explode simply because you’ve decided to make your own happiness a real priority. More likely, the response from the universe will be akin to a sighing, What took you so long?
放心吧，你的世界并不会因此爆炸，只因你已经把自己的幸福作为了真正的要点。这个世界的反应更可能是一声叹息，叹息为何你花了这么久才做出这个决定？
When I’ve made decisions that were aligned with my own happiness first, I’ve heard the occasional (sometimes frequent) outcries of those objecting to my choices, but these objections invariably came from those who weren’t happy with their own choices. My decision was a painful reminder of that, and hence I can understand, empathize with, and forgive the momentary insanity on their part — the insanity which presumes that their wallowing in unhappiness could possibly persuade me to join them under any circumstances.
当我首先做了与我自己幸福一致的决定时，我偶尔（有时候频繁的）听到反对我决定的大声疾呼，但这些反对总是来自那些不满意自己选择的人们。我的选择（对他们）是一个痛苦的提醒，因此我能够理解，同情并原谅他们一时的错觉——他们错误的以为他们的大声疾呼可以说服我加入他们不幸的队列。
But far worse than the vocal objections of others are the simulated objections that exist only within your mind — the simulated fear of disapproval.
但相比他人直言不讳的反对声，更糟糕的是那些仅仅存在于你头脑中反对的声音——因为恐惧不敢面对而假装反对的声音。
In all honesty which is more important to you: the approval of others, or your own happiness?
说实话哪一个对你更重要：别人的认可还是你自己的幸福？
If you aren’t happy, you don’t approve of yourself, and hence no one of consequence can approve of you anyway. They will recognize plain as day that your priorities have produced a dismal and wretched failure of a life. If you place approval above your own happiness, you ultimately end up with neither. You’ll be unhappy, and you cannot expect anyone to truly approve of you for that. Whatever approval you do receive will be as fake as the contentment you pretend to harbor.
如果你不快乐，你不会认可你自己，因此无论如何也没有人会认可你。他们会认识到，是你的自己的选择造成了凄凉和可怜的失败生活。如果你将他人的认可置于你自己的幸福之上，你最终什么都得不到。你不会快乐，你也不能期望任何人真正的认可你。不管你确实收到了什么样的认可，它们只会像你假装满意的生活一样虚伪。
The approval of others is inconsequential, but if you successfully create a happy life for yourself, you will have your own self-approval, and that is worth something. This self-approval will in turn appear to unlock the approval mechanisms of the universe itself, and it will flood your reality with plenty of validating evidence. When your happiness becomes a true priority, you’ll soon notice a conspiracy of ridiculous abundance, including happy relationships with other happy and attractive people, strong motivation to express yourself creatively, and a lifestyle that yanks you out of bed with a “Wow!”
别人的认可是无关紧要的，但如果你成功地为自己创造了一个幸福的生活，你会有你自己的自我认可，这就值了。这种自我认可反过来似乎解开了世界自身的认可机制，并让你在现实生活中获得验证。当你真正地优先考虑自己的幸福时，你很快就会发现生活不可思议的丰富，包括与其他快乐和有吸引力的人之间快乐的交往，强烈地想要创造性地表达自己，以及"哇"的一声从床上一跃而起充满激情的生活方式。
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